thedamari

With Apologies to Emily Dickinson

My Snake

A headless fellow in the grass
Bleeding and lifeless lies,
I did not see him, till too late.
Mower blades met him first.

Grass is short now; he lies exposed,
His stripes truncate too soon;
Tip of the tail is severed, too.
He died this afternoon.

He liked the elm tree’s shade,
Protected from the sun
He made a nest at its roots,
Was sleeping there this morn.

Many days I’ve seen him slither
And pass before my feet.
I never meant him harm; when
I saw him, I’d retreat.

Several of these snakes I’ve had
Abiding in my yard,
Neither of us aggressive,
Yet both kept on our guard.

But never met one so close
By accident or purpose,
To touch him with my hand
Or with the blade’s sharp surface.

This is based on an incident from a couple of years ago. I started a poem about it then and forgot it until recently. I found the nearly finished poem earlier this week and brought it to its conclusion. I really didn’t run over the snake on purpose.

Submission Tracking

Every writer I know has her or his own method for tracking submissions, except for those who don’t. Since I’ve always admired Wallace Stevens as much for his actuarial skills as for his poetry, I’m one of those who does keep track. My check book is always balanced, too.

Many writers use spread sheets and I’ve heard tell of special software designed specifically for the task of submission tracking. I’ve invented my own method that integrates the creative writing half of my brain with the accounting half. So it’s a bit less accounting than the aforementioned methods, but also a bit more entertaining.

I color-code the file name of each piece of writing I have stored on my hard-drive according to it’s current status. Plain black means it needs more work before I send it out. Red means I feel the piece is ready to spread its wings and fly, but either I haven’t nudged it from the nest yet or else it’s come back home to live for a while after the moving out thing didn’t work so well. Blue is for work I’ve sent out but for which I haven’t yet heard anything. Green means a piece has been accepted.

I also keep a note on the bottom of each piece, informing me of where I’ve sent it and when, etc., information I duplicate in one large word document I have oh so creatively named “Submissions List.” The information in “Submissions List” is colored coded as well. Here black means rejection, red means waiting to hear, and green is accepted. Purple, a color I’ve used exactly once so far, means my piece was rejected but somehow the editor made me feel so good about it.

I have one paragraph for each submission. I always include what I sent, where I sent it and when, what they say their reporting time is, and how much they pay. When I hear back I add in the date I heard & what the status is. In addition I sometimes include insights into my mood at the time of submission and rejection. For some reason I’ve found no need for extra notes to myself upon acceptance. Not so with rejections.

I was scrolling back through the entire list earlier today and found some notes I’d forgotten about. I suppose they probably run the typical gamut for a writer’s reactions. Here are some samples:

I have plenty of “will assume it’s rejected if I haven’t heard by now.”

“11/20 sent poem to ‘Poetry of the Sacred’ contest. 02/01 – Didn’t win shit.”

“Rejected in the mailroom, judging by the speed.”

I have a few “rejected, though with a nice note.”

At one point in my list I have 15 rejections in a row with no comment, followed by a sixteenth with the word “sigh” at the end & a seventeenth with the words “boo hoo.”

“5/24 sent three poems to XX…All rejected 07/25/05. Without returning manuscripts, even though I sent adequate postage. So I had false hope when I realized the envelope contained only one page, thinking it was an acceptance. Blppppthhhh!”

“07/27… sent three poems to …XX via snail mail. … Rejected 02/21. They waited long enough that postage rates went up, so they had to add 2 cents to my SASE. Ha! My little unplanned raspberry back at them.”

“09/16… sent essay to XX via snail mail. …Returned 12/05 with illegible handwriting that I assume was a rejection since it included the first page (only?) of my manuscript and no contract. They used the rest of my postage to send me adverts for their mag. Instead of my manuscript.” (Extra note for other writers – I will identify this magazine. It was GreenPrints. Now you know, if you send them something, only include enough return postage for one page.)

11/16…sent essay to XX … So now it’s double submitted, as I still haven’t heard from YY. Whoa, I’m getting daring. Rejected 01/05 with a very nice note saying she was making a point of sending me a personal note to say she found my piece exceptionally well done, but thematically it didn’t fit. I take what consolation I can get.”

“01/22… sent three poems to XX via snail mail…I will have a heart attack if they accept one of my poems. 02/09/06 – no need for the defibrillator.”

“02/06 sent four poems to XX, anthology of poems about motherhood. …made first cut!!! ‘Will likely hear from them again in the fall.’ 09/15..Didn’t make final cut. Too bad their book will be such poor quality.”

“07/11…sent story to Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Mag. Pro market. Snail mail. Rejected 01/16…but it was a “nice” rejection w/handwritten extra note.” (Note: I included the name of this mag as well because I’m still impressed that an editor at such a large publication would take the time to handwrite a nice little extra page.)

“07/25…entered piece in XX writing contest…11/01 Put a big L on my forehead.”

“04/09 sent poetry book manuscript to XX contest ..Because it was a more interesting way of disposing of $25 than flushing it down the toilet.”

Since I’m nothing but professional and courteous in my communication with editors, I find keeping this list on my computer is a good way to vent my feelings. Also, I like to remember whether a particular publication is a market I want to try again or not. Maybe my little system is submission and attitude tracking.

The Right Book at the Right Time

A friend recently shared the information that her daughter had been assigned to read the book Beloved by Toni Morrison for a high school class last spring. The daughter struggled through the text, disliking it all the way through.

Beloved is one of my favorite works of literature. But I first read it in my early thirties, after my children were born. Would I have understood the book at age 16? Parts, I think. Would I have liked it? I’m not sure, but I think not. I came upon the book at the right time in my life, after I’d had enough life experience to be haunted by some true regrets.

Thinking back, I can recall books I’ve read in years past that left me shaking my head in bewilderment. Crime and Punishment comes to mind. I wonder if I should re-read it now. Maybe I’d get it in some fundamental way I didn’t before. Or maybe not.

I did read, enjoy, and understand many “adult-level” books in my adolescence. So I’ve put very few restrictions on what my kids read. I think they’ll either be ready for a book or they won’t and they’ll figure it out for themselves. Maybe there are hundreds of teens out there who do appreciate Beloved. Maybe there are even some who appreciate Crime and Punishment.

I remember the first true grown-up book I read and enjoyed. It was A Tale of Two Cities. But I had started to read it twice before I finally finished it on the third go.

My 11-year-old son just finished reading the Harry Potter series. When he was younger, we read the first couple of books to him, but he lost interest even as the rest of us in the family were avidly reading and discussing the series. He’d say “I don’t see what the big deal is. I don’t think they’re interesting.”

Then one day around his 11th birthday (the same age as the main character at the beginning of the story), he was looking for something to do, having used his allowed computer time for the day. He spotted Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone lying out on top of the bookcase and picked it up. Two hours later, he looked up and told me “This book is better than I remembered.”

He proceeded to read all seven books straight through. He’d become ready for them.

I think what I’ve figured out is that not only should you not judge a book by its cover. You possibly shouldn’t even judge it by your first reading of it. True, there are many honestly terrible books out there. But sometimes a book I don’t like right off may deserve a second look.

A Whole Lot of Writing Going on

Through my local public library, I logged into an Infotrac database – General OneFile – to do some research. I stopped before I started, stunned into a case of the vapors by a number I saw: 83,083,630.

“Currently searching General OneFile with 83,083,630 articles…”

83 million articles?! Let me add some more punctuation to illustrate my reaction. ?????!!!!!?????!!!!!

Who wrote all of that? Why should I add to it? Should I add to it? Is there too much written already? Maybe people should stop writing for a while. How can I make my writing noticed in a sea of 83 million+ articles? Do people feel overwhelmed with written word overload? Would more written words be nothing but piling on? Is there anything left that hasn’t already been written? Will the questions generated by this number never end? All of this went through my head in about 10 seconds and then started looping on replay over and over.

On the other hand, if I believe writing and reading are worthy pursuits, can there be too much of either? And, if 83,083,630 articles have already been published, doesn’t that mean there are plenty of markets publishing stuff?

83,083,630. I’m trying to decide if the number is discouraging or encouraging.

Book List: The Moon

On July 20, 1969, the Apollo 11 landed on the moon. In honor of the event’s 40th anniversary this month, I’m providing a list of moon-related reading. I have steered away from general astronomy books, and confined myself to books about the earth’s moon. Otherwise, the list would go on forever. In the fiction books, the moon is either the setting or a significant force within the story. Many of the non-fiction titles are self-explanatory. I don’t feel the need to expound.

Enjoy your lunar reading odyssey.

Book List: The Moon

Fiction

Back to the Moon
Homer H. Hickam
Techno-thriller about the hijacking of a moon-bound space shuttle, written by NASA engineer and author of the memoir Rocket Boys. Published in 2000.

Bouncing Off the Moon
David Gerrold
Three young brothers deal with their parents’ divorce by moving to the moon, only to become embroiled in corporate intrigue and conspiracies. 2002.

The First Men in the Moon
H.G. Wells
Classic Wells, published in 1901. But if you think this is the first published story set on the moon, scroll on down the list.

Have Spacesuit – Will Travel
Robert Heinlein
Classic Heinlein first published in 1958. Space adventure story aimed at younger readers. What boy wouldn’t want to win his own spacesuit and take a trip to the moon?

Inconstant Moon Trilogy:
Inconstant Moon
Fall Girl
Exit Strategy
Piers Askegren
More corporate intrigue on the moon. These are newer books, all published since 2005.

Lunar Descent
Alan M. Steele
Factory work is factory work, even on the moon. 1991.

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
Robert A. Heinlein
Three books in one about revolution brewing in the lunar colonies of the future. 1966.

The Moon Pool
Abraham Merritt
Magic portal activated by moonbeams. Published in 1919.

Peter Nevsky and the True Story of the Russian Moon Landing: a Novel
John Calvin Batchelor
Historical fiction about the space race, written from a cosmonaut’s point of view. 1996

Roverandom
J.R.R. Tolkein
Written in 1925, published in 1998. (As a writer, this makes me all kinds of impatient.) In his quest to be real again, a dog searches the moon and elsewhere for the wizard who turned him into a toy.

Voyages to the Moon and the Sun
Cyrano de Bergerac
Yes, *that* Cyrano de Bergerac, from the 17th century.

Non-fiction

Apollo: the Epic Journey to the Moon
David West Reynolds
2002

Apollo: the Race to the Moon
Charles A. Murray
1990

Apollo 11: the NASA Mission Reports, Compiled from the NASA Archives
Published in three volumes 1999-2001.

Apollo 13
Jim Lovell
The moon landing that didn’t happen and how three astronauts survived disaster. 2006

The Big Splat, or, How Our Moon Came to Be
Dana Mackenzie
2003

Destination Moon: the Apollo Missions in the Astronauts’ Own Words
Rod Pyle 2007

Digital Apollo: Human and Machine in Space Flight
David A. Mindell 2008

Firefly Moon Observer’s Guide
Peter Grego
It *is* an astronomy book, but focused solely on our moon. 2004

First Man: the Life of Neil A. Armstrong
James R. Hansen
Biography. 2006

The First Men on the Moon: the Story of Apollo 11
David M. Harland
2006

Five Billion Vodka Bottles to the Moon: Tales of a Soviet Scientist
I.S. Shklovskii
1991

Fly Me to the Moon: an Insider’s Guide to the New Science of Space Travel
Edward Belbruno
2007

The Last Man on the Moon: Astronaut Eugene Cernan and America’s Space Race
Eugene Cernan
Memoir by the commander of the final manned moon mission, recounting his years with NASA. 2000

Magnificent Desolation
Buzz Aldrin
Memoir by one of the Apollo 11 astronauts. 2009

A Man on the Moon: the Voyages of the Apollo Astronauts
Andrew Chaikin
2007

The Man Who Ran the Moon: James E. Webb, NASA, and the Secret History of Project Apollo
Piers Bizony
The politics of aerospace. 2007

Many Moons: the Myth and Magic, Fact and Fantasy of our Nearest Heavenly Body
Diana Brueton
1992

Men from Earth
Buzz Aldrin
From one of the astronauts who went there. 1989

Moonlore: Myths and Folklore from Around the World
Gwydion O’Hara
1997

Moon Shot: the Inside Story of America’s Race to the Moon
Alan B. Shepard
Another astronaut scoops. 1994

Of a Fire on the Moon
Norman Mailer
1970

The Once and Future Moon
Paul D. Spudis
A geologist explains what we have learned about the moon, and explains why he thinks we should go back to increase our knowledge. 1998

Patrick Moore On the Moon
Patrick Moore
2006

Red Moon Rising: Sputnik and the Hidden Rivalries that Ignited the Space Age
Matthew Brzezinski
2008

Rocket Man: Astronaut Pete Conrad’s Incredible Ride to the Moon and Beyond
Nancy Conrad
Biography. 2005

The Sun and the Moon: The Remarkable True Account of Hoaxers, Showmen, Dueling Journalists, and Lunar Man-Bats in Nineteenth-Century New York
Matthew Goodman
I haven’t read this book, but I’m thinking with a title like that I’m going to have to. 2008

Welcome to the Moon!: 12 Lunar Expeditions for Small Telescopes
Robert Bruce Kelsey
1997

What if the Moon Didn’t Exist
Neil F. Comin
Now there’s an interesting question. 1995

Computer retraining

As I mentioned in my previous post, of all of the deaths that have occurred recently, the death of my hard drive hit me the hardest. It was also the most unexpected. Talk about untimely. I only bought this laptop about seven months ago. Used though. But only slightly.

Thanks to my foresight in having married an alpha geek, I had a new (and more spacious) hard drive installed within days. But now I’m required to help my computer relearn the things it used to know. Kind of like recovering from a brain injury.

“This is a bookmark,” I tell it. “You use it to take me to a web page, so I don’t have to type in the URL every time.”

“This e-mail address I’m putting in your address book is one you used to know. It’s my best friend’s. You used it all the time; I can’t believe you forgot even her.”

“This program is called Microsoft Word. We’ll be doing a lot of therapy using Word. It’s what you need the most for my writing. Oh good, now that you’ve relearned that, I see you’re able to pull up the memory of my novel from the flash drive.”

A writer friend, upon hearing the news about my hard drive, said in an almost-stricken way “Please tell me you have your novel saved somewhere.” It’s nice when people understand.

Actually, I’d done an exemplary job of backing up my writing, so I lost almost nothing. Photos of my children, however…not as much. Bad mommy. Guilty mommy. I’m afraid some of the most important memories have been lost to permanent amnesia. I did have a lot of the pics saved, just not the same percentage I managed with my writing.

Then there were all of the cool quotations I had collected over the past few years. Ah well, time to get out of the old ruts and make some new ones anyway. And maybe time to develop better habits about backing up everything, not only my writing.

Oh why not? Everyone else is talking about it.

Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Iran, Twitter. Oh, uh, hi – trying to get hits on my blog. Or would anyone like to take a break from all of those topics and read about my hard drive catastrophe? It’s compelling, but maybe only to me.

Oh, okay, I’ll spare everyone the self-indulgent hard-drive whine. For now. Meanwhile I’ll self-indulgently get on the Celebrity Death Train with everybody else.

Sometimes I wonder why so many people feel compelled to talk about celebrity deaths, even those who hate themselves for doing it. Witness the friend who immediately sent out emails to a chunk of her address book to say she couldn’t understand why her cousin always had to call her immediately to share the news of tragedies, “such as the deaths today of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.” (Have you heard?)

This particular email moved me beyond the why into the how. I find it interesting observing how we note the passing of celebrities. My teenage daughter told me about Michael Jackson. She got the news in a text from a friend. Having never sent a text message in my life, relying instead on the old-fashioned internet, I’d be lagging minutes behind on my newsfeeds if not for having a teen in the house.

My 11-year-old knew of Michael Jackson through the Weird Al connection. He only started watching MJ videos on YouTube after having seen the Weird Al parodies first. “They’re even funnier once you’ve seen the originals,” he observes.

My brother wins the prize for succinctness: “Bad week to be a celebrity.”

My friends and I stoit around among a handful of variations on the celebrity death discussion. 1.How much the Thriller video rocked our worlds when we were young, and how our kids missed out on the Jackson we knew before creepdom took hold. 2. How Michael Jackson stole the spotlight from Farrah Fawcett, who had put the fire in a generation of girls to achieve fabulous hair and kick butt. 3. The fact that we know for sure now not depend on Ed McMahon to fund a very early retirement. 4. How we should really be talking about serious issues such as the election in Iran and how journalism is forever changed. 5. Which seems to lead back to how each of us got the news about the recent celebrity deaths.

Holding my head up

The end. 74,327 words. You can go back to inquiring about my progress. Dear readers, I have finished writing my first novel.

Okay, the first draft. Let the edits begin.

Elusive Finish Line

I’ve been working on the first draft of my first novel for a year and five months. For last five months I’ve claimed to be in the home stretch, a place that has proved to have great elasticity indeed. My finish line keeps moving. I’ve added three chapters that somehow eluded my beginning outline, so how was I supposed to know I was going to have to write them? Then there’s the ever-present problem of finding time to do the writing. I considered telling my kids they couldn’t have birthdays this year because I had a book to finish, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. Likewise I never quite get to the point of saying to my boss “Sorry, I’m on a roll with my writing. My paying job will have to wait.”

It’s getting embarrassing, as people ask me how the novel is going and I keep answering “Almost done with the first draft.” I hope it doesn’t go on my tombstone: “She almost finished the first draft.” I started telling people I was writing a novel because I thought if others knew about my project, I’d have to finish it. It would help me to take myself seriously.

At first I spoke with enthusiasm, even when I encountered the skeptical look I knew meant everyone’s writing a novel. I spoke with confidence because I knew I’d be the person who actually finished the task. When queried, I’d report “Got the outline done.” Or “Wrote another chapter last week.” And it sounded even to me as if I were progressing toward something, even if I was getting there at a strolling pace. Now I’m starting to feel like Moses, with the promise of a new land shifting ever onward into the future and a whole nation asking “Are we there yet?” Or like a bad credit risk. I find myself tempted to avoid those acquaintances who are most likely to ask about the status of my novel because it feels too much like “Do you have that $20 you owe me yet?”

I know I’ve done this to myself. It’s only because I set myself up for it that I have to feel so sheepish now when I answer. I suppose there’s only one solution, and that’s to finish the damn book. Which I guess means my plan is working. I told everyone I was going to do it. Now I have to keep my word.

Book Thoughts: Payback by Margaret Atwood

I knew that, in addition to her mind-blowing fiction, Margaret Atwood also writes some pretty decent poetry. And now I come across her non-fiction book, Payback (Debt and the Shadow Side of Wealth.)

The book is as thought-provoking as I assumed anything by Atwood would be. (Okay, that sounds a little too much like “How much wood would a woodchuck…) The book has nothing to do with managing your finances and everything to do with examining the meanings and origins of the concept of debt. What do we owe each other and why do we think we owe it?

Of particular interest to fiction writers will be chapter three: Debt as Plot, which made me think that there aren’t even four basic plots. Perhaps there’s only one, and it is debt. Who owes what to whom, how did they get into that debt and how are they going to get out of it? She begins the chapter by saying “Without memory there is no debt. Put another way: without story there is no debt.”

She goes on to examine the story of debt in various works of literature, her rather obvious starting point being Christopher Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus. Some whopper of a debt there. She also discusses A Christmas Carol, Vanity Fair and, a less obvious choice, Wuthering Heights. Think that last title is about romance and affairs of the heart? Well, Atwood would have us know that the heart keeps a balance sheet. Then too, Heathcliff uses financial debt to control those around him.

After reading Payback I find myself examining many of my assumptions about life and human relationships. I also find myself reading fiction with a new eye. Want to unravel the plot? Follow the debt.