life – Nomadic Noesis

On Today’s Walk: Exploring & Experiencing

I generally don’t listen to audiobooks or music or anything on my phone during my pedestrian rambles. I also don’t usually set any kind of goal, track my walking speed, or try to solve any of my personal problems. No shade intended for those who get something different from walking. I’m simply describing how the practice is meaningful to me. My brain tends to hyperdrive most of the time, and this is how I find some balance in my life.

As much as possible, I like to adopt a child’s mind approach, open to exploration and experience, to a sense of wonder for whatever I might happen upon. Three phenomena caught my attention today.

First, I was walking near a sweetgum tree. Nonetheless, it took me a minute to realize what the darker object in this photo is.

Closeup of autumn ground cover including a tawny-colored, spiky Sweetgum seedball and an old, weather-beaten, grayish seedball with the spikes worn off. — New and old

At first, I thought it might be an old paper wasps’ nest that had fallen to the ground. But when I picked it up, I realized it was much too solid and hard. Only when I spotted a newly shed Sweetgum seedball nearby did I realize this is what they look like when they’ve been around a while and weathered difficult times. Doesn’t it look a lot like a wasps’ nest, though? Nature’s repeating patterns, I suppose.

Second item was a not-small hole in the ground. It looked like perhaps someone had dug out a small tree and forgot to backfill. Or else dug a hole for a tree and then never managed to plant it?

Hole in the ground, filled with dry leaves.

I estimate the hole to be somewhere between 1 and 1/2 to 2 feet on the long side. Definitely big enough my entire shoe would have fit in. I tried to plumb the depths through the leaf fill using a stick I found, but I’m not sure if I hit the bottom. I’d say it’s at least as deep as it is long.

The third wonder of the day was this patch of grass that’s a completely different hue than all the grass around. Did a spaceship set down here? I don’t really believe that. But why is it like this?

Grassy field in a park. One patch of grass is noticeably lighter in color than the surrounding area. — Call Mulder and Scully!

From a distance, it looked like it could be straw or hay spread on the ground. But it’s just monochromatic grass. Pacing it off, I came up with a guessed measurement of around 30 feet by 50 feet. It couldn’t be space aliens, of course. But how about fairies?

Truly, you don’t have to travel to distant lands to be an explorer. I’ve been walking around this same neighborhood for 20+ years, and I see new things all the time. It’s just a matter of noticing them.

On Yesterday’s Walk: Merry Christmas

Christmas Eve at our house was peaceful and good, with just the three members of the household. The husband had to work part of the day but got off early. The grown son who lives here works from home and sets his hours, so he often takes his dinner up to his room and eats at the keyboard while creating code. But yesterday, he not only joined us for the whole meal, he wore his good jeans (no holes) and a nice sweater. We’re pretty casual and have never enforced a holiday dinner dress code, but I appreciated the effort.

Our family tradition is to have all the hoopla, including gift opening, on Christmas Eve, followed by a relaxed Christmas Day. I had four packages under the tree, and they were a perfect encapsulation of love to me. One I had requested specifically, the new Patti Smith memoir, Bread of Angels.

Book cover: Bread of Angels, Patti Smith, a memoir.

Aside from that, the guys got me a daily desk calendar with quotes from well-known women, a non-skid bathmat for the tub (after I nearly fell a couple weeks ago and made some drama about being on the verge of my first bad “old person” experience) and a reflective vest to wear for those occasions I find myself walking after dark (pretty much every weekday in midwinter, as the sun is already down by the time I stroll home from work.)

My loved ones care about my safety and they care about my inspiration and fulfillment. I received gifts that center the wellbeing of both body and soul. How about that spirit of Christmas, there? Pretty well captured, I’d say.

I got a chance to use my reflective vest already. We’re experiencing near record warm temperatures here, so the three of us took an evening stroll around the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights and decorations. We didn’t even need coats!

This was my favorite house:

Nighttime scene. House outlined with colored Christmas lights. A large skeleton wearing Santa clothes and beard stands next to a skeleton reindeer in the front yard.

The little bit at the bottom is a reflection on a car hood. I didn’t crop it out because I like the effect.

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! And a wish for joy and peace to all, whether you celebrate Christmas, something else, or it’s just Thursday to you!

I’ll end with one of my favorite songs of the season with some of my favorite performers–John Denver and the Muppets. I listen to The Peace Carol several times every December.

The Best Laid Plans of 1914

A few weeks ago, our neighborhood hosted a day of garage sales, and these two curiosities made their way home with me–tour itineraries for England, Wales, and Contintental Europe, for the years 1913 and 1914.

I assume all went well in 1913, since the tour organizer, Ms. Stella M. Weyer of Washington, PA, decided a repeat was in order for the next year. Perhaps she had begun what she believed would be a years-long career. Who knows?

Looks like a fascinating travel plan:

As an added item of interest, when I opened the 1913 booklet, a packer’s voucher from Phoenix Knitting Works fell out. It was dated 6/4/13. I guess someone mail ordered a scarf or something to wear on their sojourn.

Some of the tour notes telling travelers what to anticipate are a delight to read from a 2025 perspective. “Our motor cars are procured of the best London firm, are high-grade machines…driven by expert chauffeurs. The average rate of speed will approach twenty miles an hour…”

That’s 1913.

Looking at the 1914 itinerary evokes a whole different set of feelings.

The journey was set to begin from New York on July 2, and I’m burning with curiosity to know how far the group actually made it into the trip. Did they even embark after learning of the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand a few days earlier? Or were they unaware of the direction things were heading, and figured it would blow over?

July 27th has them arriving in Paris, the day before Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia, the official beginning of World War I. Their plan for mid-August was to visit Germany and Austria. By that time, several countries had been drawn into the fight, including France, Britain, Luxembourg, Belgium and Russia.

Imagine being in the middle of what was to be your vacation of a lifetime only to find yourself witnessing the commencement of the bloodiest, most widespread war the world has ever seen. How do you get the universe to laugh? Make a plan.

I have gone down some rabbit holes trying to find any other information about these tours, specifically the fate of the 1914 venture. But no luck. I have however, learned a bit about Stella Marshall Weyer, the organizer listed in both pamphlets.

She was born in 1876 in Portsmouth, Ohio. So she would have been in her mid to late thirties when all this was going down. And she lived in St. Louis for a portion of her life, which could be related to why I found her travel plans kicking around in central Missouri more than a century later, though she never married or had children as far as I could find.

A St. Louis Post-Dispatch article from 1893 lists Stella as a new graduate of Hosmer Hall, an all-girls’ school. An 1896 society article says she’s traveling to Leipzig to visit her brother and study art. Aha! She was experienced in European travel from a relatively young age. (Sorry, these are behind a pay-walled database through my local library, so I can’t link to them.)

Most significantly, I discovered she volunteered as a Red Cross canteen worker in France during the war, returning to the U.S. in 1919, after the Armistice of November 11, 1918. It’s possible her group was in France at the outbreak of hostilities, and she just stayed there, helping. She only lived a few more years, dying in 1923 of glioma of the brain.

In the past few years, we have seen for ourselves what it’s like to live inside of history. I know I’m still reeling from the world changing virtually overnight when the pandemic hit in 2020. But coming across these artifacts and learning a little about one single person who was caught in the maelstrom of world events has added a new layer of introspection.

Maybe what I’m learning is that we, in our current time and our place, just aren’t special. We’re not exempt. Anyone anywhere can find themselves in the middle of some kind of troubles. Our choice is whether and how to do some good anyway. Stella Marshall Weyer appears to have risen to an astounding occasion and volunteered in a way that was available to her. I’m going to keep that in mind this Armistice Day/Veterans’ Day.

Jane Goodall, Secretary

“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”

― Jane Goodall

I assume everyone has by now heard the news of Jane Goodall’s passing. Like many others, I found inspiration in her achievements. I admire the work of anyone who helps us deepen our understanding of life on this planet and our place within that web. The older I get, the more my philosophy and sense of ethics boils to down to “everything is connected.”

But Goodall inspired me in another way. Several years ago, while I was creating my own unorthodox educational path toward my personal goals, I went to hear her speak. And she told the story of how she got started in the study of chimps in the wild, which is that she went to secretarial school.

As a young woman, she already knew her dream was to travel to Africa and learn about wildlife. But she didn’t have the money for college, and pathways were not created for women of modest means. So she and her mother together cooked up a plan that Jane would qualify as a secretary so that she could find work anywhere, save her money to travel to Africa, and hopefully get a clerical job with someone who was doing the research she dreamed of. A foot in the door at the right place.

Through hard work, lots of brain power and the support of her mother, the plan was stunningly successful. Goodall first worked for Dr. Louis Leakey at a natural history museum. But he was so impressed with her, he decided she would be the perfect candidate to send out to observe the chimpanzees. When she eventually did embark on PhD studies many years later, she did so without ever having done any formal undergraduate work.

Hearing this story at that time in my life meant more to me than anyone could have imagined. It’s a vast understatement to say my own personal accomplishments pale in comparison to Dr. Goodall’s, but they mean a lot to me. I believe a lot of us should take her lesson to heart. If you feel a strong calling but don’t see a road to it, get creative, come at it sideways, build a road.

I’ll wrap up with another of my favorite Jane Goodall quotes: “It actually doesn’t take much to be considered a difficult woman. That’s why there are so many of us.”

Onondaga Cave Revisited

My firstborn came to visit recently, staying for eight days. Due to the fact that I rarely call out from work, I had abundant PTO in my leave bank and was able to take off the entire time for a staycation. The spouse was also able to use vacation most of the days. And son the younger works from home, so was able to flex his hours.

We did a lot of nostalgic activities and generally had a blast playing tourist in our own area. This included a day trip to Onondaga Cave, a place I haven’t visited in at least 15 years, though I did write a poem about it once. It had been long enough that the tour was fresh and new to me, for the most part. And even the bits I remembered were still awe inspiring, well worth a revisit.

Walkways and handrails inside a very large cave system — walking paths/handrails

Stairway inside a tourist cave, with pillars rising on either side. — walking paths/handrails

Onondaga cave is immense. Though there are a couple of places where adults need to duck a little, there’s no crawling, climbing or ropes involved in the exploration. Trails and handrails have been put in, and there’s an option to sit out the steepest part of the tour. Still, you need to be able to do some hills and stairs and to be on your feet for quite a while. If you’re able to do that, it’s a fascinating place to visit.

Since it’s operated by the Missouri Department of Conservation (incidentally, one of the top state conservation departments in the country), it’s well maintained with an eye to preserving a healthy ecosystem. That means there are no tours during bat hibernation season. A piece of good news we learned from our guide is that bat populations are starting to rebound after being nearly decimated by white-nose syndrome.

Some of my favorite spots on the tour:

Two large pillars--onne white, one rust colored--rising from a cave floor. — The Twins (cave pillars)

Cave formations - pillar and "curtains" — The Twins (cave pillars)

Saving my very favorite for last — the Lily Pad Room, where mineral deposits sitting in a pool of water take the shape of lily pads. It’s breathtaking.

Inside a cave, flat rock formations in water look like lily pads

I’ll finish by sharing the poem I mentioned. This was published a few years ago in “Eternal as a Weed: Tales of Ozark Experience.”

Onondaga Cave

This race is indeed not to the swift
and is not a race.
Today we like speed. The whole world
in an instant with a keystroke.
Third-graders: do 100 addition problems
in five minutes. Speed proves competence.
Service so quick you’ll quake,
or something like that.
Nobody should wait.
The gravest sin is to slow others down.
That’s above ground.

Enter this cave and the standards invert.
Muse upon the mighty stalagmites.
Take in the tightly clinging stalactites.
Marvel at the pace of growth, an inch per hundred years.
One. Inch. Per. One. Hundred. Years.
That’s where the awe comes in.
If they formed at a fast clip, we’d chop them out,
carry them off, stack them in our garages,
intending to use them in a craft someday.
There would be no sense of wonder.
The slowness makes it so.
Speed wins the day, persistence the millennia.

Old House Woes and the Joy of a Purple Kitchen

This has been a great house for us. I love hating working on it.

I am trying to show up here again, both reading and writing. I won’t get too long-winded with what has been occupying my time instead, but I will share my latest old home misadventure.

The husband and I have never broken free of the find out phase of choosing to live in a 124-year-old house. Though in our defense, it was only 102 years old when we bought it. It’s been a 22-year fix-up adventure, including adding missing gutters, getting rid of the dangerous knob-and-tube wiring, planting raspberries and pollinator plants, adding a carport with solar panels, and seemingly endless repairs.

Often, our next project choose us by announcing itself in dramatic fashion. The latest was back in May when we woke up to find a water pipe in the bathroom above our kitchen had sprung a leak overnight and dripped through the ceiling for hours while we slept. Then the shut-off valve at the sink broke when Mr. Damari tried to turn it. So whole house water shutdown it was until he could enact a temp fix.

We already had not been using the tub in that bathroom for similar reasons, thinking that repair would rise to the top of our to-do list at some point. Welp, might as well get it all done at once. Get the plumber in for an opinion, and then a second plumber. And then learn we had bigger problems — namely our main water intake was leaking and needed to be replaced at the foundation of our home.

Which required removing this neglected-for-years bush to provide access. I didn’t think to take a before pic until it we had it half cut away.

Massive bush half cut away in front of a house with white siding.

It needed to come out anyway. Why not keep adding project upon project?

Once the main intake was replaced, work could proceed on the pipes for the bathroom, which of course involved cutting away part of the kitchen ceiling. And then as the contractor followed the maze created by previous workers, also involved removing a bit of one wall in the kitchen. The spouse decided to add another light switch while we were at it, so holes in two walls. May as well replace the old, janky light fixture/ceiling fan in the kitchen while we were spending all our money and time anyway.

Meanwhile, this happened in the living room. I tried to clean the fan blades with an extendable brush, and it just…fell, missing me by inches.

ceiling fan light fixture lying in pieces on a carpet

We’re in the zone. Why not replace two light fixtures?

We experienced multiple delays for multiple reasons. Example: Hey, says the contractor, they don’t actually make valves like the ones in your ancient tub anymore, and I can’t find one locally anywhere. So we’ll have to wait until we can get one shipped.

But eventually, around mid-July, all plumbing was done, light fixtures replaced, ceiling and walls patched. Time to touch up the paint on the kitchen walls. The walls I had painted purple 19 years ago. Guess how much success I had finding a color match?

wall with two different shades of purple paint on it

All right, I can roll with painting two entire walls. We’ll only have to unbolt and remove the rack for our pots and pans along with getting a refrigerator out of the way. And it will only expand a two-hour job into a whole weekend project.

Did I mention we have ten-foot ceilings? We have ten-foot ceilings. The good news is that I’m still well able to go up and down a ladder. I move a lot more cautiously than I did two decades ago. But I do take joy in a purple kitchen.

Cookware hanging on a stainless steel rack attached to a purple wall

Now the only remaining detail is deciding what to plant in the bare patch in front of our house where the huge bush used to be. Maybe something large enough to hide the evidence of how much the sunroom that was added to the original structure at some point is now separating from the rest of the house.

Bare earth in front of a house with white siding.

Despite all this, the spouse and I talked it over and agreed we made the right decision moving in here. It’s a great location and provided a lot of space for our kids when they were growing up.

A direct quote from my husband: This has been a great house for us. I love hating working on it.

Today’s New Thing

Though I haven’t posted about it as much as I intended, I’m still on a quest for new experiences. They can be big or small. The little ones quite often can be pretty darned fulfilling . It’s not necessary to travel great distances or spend a lot of money to discover more of the world. It’s all a matter of attention and attitude.

So today’s new to me experience was eating cranberry-apple jam from the farmers’ market. So tasty! And yes, I am acclimating to farmers’ market shopping. I still stay only a few minutes, making one or two purchases. But it’s opening up my life some more.

Despite all the troubles, there’s still a whole world of delights all around us, waiting to be noticed. It’s important not to lose sight of that.

What’s it Like in Cat Heaven?

For the first time in 22 years, my household is catless. For a period of years, we had three cats. But one by one, they have crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Puffies (or Puffaroo or Puffington or Puff Daddy or Puffing Thing, depending on the day) was our last feline standing.

He showed up on our porch nearly 12 years ago and communicated quite clearly, “I live here now.” The vet at that time estimated him to be 3 or 4 years old. So he was getting on in years lately. He and my husband had developed an old guy ritual of going out together in the mornings to watch the sunrise before coming back in for breakfast. I swear, they even started looking like each other.

Last week, out of the blue, our beloved kitty had a seizure. Then he stopped eating. After a trip to the vet ER, we learned he had a mass on his pancreas that was causing his blood glucose to bottom out. But we were able to take him home with some medicines that helped him perk up and enjoy some food for a couple of days before the pills stopped working.

His brain cells were scarce, but he was an exceptionally affectionate knucklehead and craved human companionship at all times. Over the weekend, we were able to make sure he spent very little time alone. The weather blessed us, and he got to spend a lot of time out in the back yard, lying in the grass, feeling the sunbeams and smelling the smells, while we hung out in camp chairs. When he was inside, I refrained from upsetting behaviors such as running the vacuum.

Monday, we had a vet come to the house and help Puffies the last bit of the way across the veil, before the pain became unbearable for him. It was about as good an ending as you could hope for, even if we would never be ready for it.

Now that all of our cats are gone, I find myself wondering what cat heaven might be like. There are no vacuum cleaners, for sure! Also no garbage disposals. I believe any door can be opened with a wishful thought, rather than a need for height and opposable thumbs. The food is always smell-rich, and humans never take away the bowl, saying you’ve had enough. Of course, it’s the correct food–human servants will never make a wrong selection. There are heating pads aplenty, all set at the perfect temperature for napping in the ever-present sunbeams. Oh, and boxes. So many boxes! This is what I like to imagine as I try to heal the cat-sized hole in my heart.

We are not ready to think about another pet. At all. So please don’t tell us about your cousin’s step-sister’s cat’s new litter of kittens. Though I am happy we took in every kitty we ever had, we just can’t go there again yet, or maybe ever. Time will tell.

Do One Thing: Farmers’ Market

Can a bag of onions make a meaningful difference in the world? I sure hope so!

I know many of us are searching for ways to make a positive impact right now in a time when a lot of things are going very wrong. While we might not experience many opportunities to take big actions, every one of us can do one thing. And those individual contributions add up.

I’ve come to believe community building needs to be an essential focus right now. One specific part of that is supporting local businesses and local agriculture. It’s becoming more vital every day to reinforce strong local food systems.

For a while, I had a subscription to an every-other-week produce box through a local store’s community supported agriculture program. But that was not working out for me logistically, so I cancelled a while back. My little city has a nice, largish, year-round farmer’s market, as well as some smaller seasonal ones. I kept telling myself I should hit them up for some of my food. But even thinking about it made my anxiety spike.

The big market, at least, is a perfect storm of social anxiety and sensory issues for me. I would have to deal with a lot of noise, bustle and crowds while trying to make decisions in a setting where I wasn’t sure of the rules or expectations. That’s every one of my buttons pushed, right there in one go.

But then I made a plan. A bite-sized plan. I could get myself used to farmers’ market shopping and learn the ropes by starting small. All I had to do was go in and buy one item, then leave. Still an improvement over no items from local farmers.

And I did it Saturday morning! I was a little overwhelmed, but I wore my Loop earplugs to minimize noise, looked around for one clearly marked item that I needed, found the onions, and paid. Then I went on to the usual grocery store for the rest of my shopping trip. It’s a start. I can keep taking more steps.

What if we all looked for one step each day or each week? How much difference could we make? Let’s try it and see! Let’s go!

Snow Days Without Children

Snowy yard and driveway with houses across the street, seen from a window

I’ve had two different inclement weathers days off work this past week, which made me nostalgic for the snow days of yore when my kids were young. Sure, there was some inconvenience involved, but also so much magic and fun. I loved sledding, snowball fights and sculpting creatures to decorate our yard.

I admit, I also realize I took for granted the level of energy I had back then. The work of getting through winter takes more out of me now. But I still want to enjoy it. I wonder how weirdly people would take it if I showed up alone at one of the popular sledding hills in town all on my own, just this 60-year-old woman.

I’m still healthy and strong enough to wield a shovel. But the big yard where the kids could play when we bought our house came with a long stretch of sidewalk that takes a while to dig out. We have a shared driveway with an apartment building, and the owners hire someone to remove snow. However, for the Sunday/Monday weather event, he had equipment problems, which meant a huge mess at the end of the drive where the city snowplows repeatedly left a lumpy, frozen wall, and our neighbor with a large pickup kept driving through it.

Piles of rutted snow at the end of a driveway — Where the driveway ends you’ll find snowplow debris there.

I knew if we were to get our own cars out I had to move mountains before the overnight Monday freeze. My husband was wrapped up in telework deadlines while my son was under the weather. And I don’t believe any of the next-door tenants own shovels. So this heavy labor fell to me. I took a break for a photo about halfway through the job. After 90 minutes, I finally had it passable for cars.

Smoothed down snow over driveway, with footprints.

After that, my arms were jelly, and I only wanted to sit quietly with a cup of tea.

Along about Thursday night, here came a second snowstorm, one that kept accumulating all Friday morning. For that one, the apartment owners found someone who had a heavy-duty truck with a plow on front. He got the apartment lot and driveway passable pretty quickly. But in the process, he walled in all egress points from our house. After the snow stopped, I went out our side door believing I only had to clear our porch steps and front walkway, but encountered this:

Wall of plowed snow chunks blocking a walkway

Fortunately, it was fresh with no melt and refreeze, so not tooooo difficult to work through. And then there was the wall blocking the front walkway from our porch to the drive and the wall built up behind our cars at the edge or our carport.

Snow piled up behind three cars — That snow wall is higher than it looks.

This all turned into another hour and a half session. However, the temperature was perfect for being outdoors in snow – right around 30 degrees with no wind. I was pretty tuckered again, but not so much I didn’t consider at least making a small snowperson.

However, I decided our block was represented well enough by the neighbors’ large one.