The Last of the Aunts

Though she be but little she is fierce.” Shakespeare, foreshadowing my Aunt Faye.

As we age, loss becomes more common, but never familiar. It feels new every time. My parents’ generation has been dropping off, one by one, and there are few left. My mother and father each had three sisters. When I was young, I didn’t realize how fortunate I was to have so many aunts in my life, each one of them a standout in her own way.

The last few years, my mom’s youngest sister was the last aunt standing. Faye was the fun aunt, the unconditional love aunt, the one who was young and without children of her own. Though she topped out at 4’11” and probably never weighed more than 100 pounds, she contained an outsized amount of energy and spirit.

She provided her nieces and nephews with experiences we wouldn’t have had otherwise. They may sound small to others, but for kids who rarely left the neighborhood, a day with her was a day of adventure. She played a guitar that was nearly as big as she was, enchanting us with music. She took us to a park where a Christmas village and playground was set up year round. Amazing! Once, bravely, she packed as many kids as would fit in her yellow Volkswagen and surprised us with an outing to the American Royal Horse Show, where we all dreamily fell in love with a palomino named Stardust.

Beyond goings and doings, Aunt Faye provided boundless amounts of unconditional love. Nobody she met ever felt unvalued or unseen. Eventually, she met a nice woman from Wales who was in the U.S. for a while. When the two retired, they moved across the pond, where Faye became a step-mom and granny to her partner’s offspring.

Though she spent the last couple of decades thousands of miles from her family of origin, she kept up with technology and kept in touch, including getting to know many of the children she’d never met in person or had seen only when they were babies. Touching my heart, she developed a close online relationship with my oldest son, offering him support when he was going through extremely difficult times.

My aunt was deeply troubled this past year by developments in the home country she loved with every fiber of her being. She spoke out and did her best to educate the younger folk about the history and dangers of fascism. She was fierce in her dedication to protecting her people and the principles of a just world.

This past week, I received the news I would never be ready for. Aunt Faye was gone. She was 84, but had been in decent health. I’d been chatting with her online just a couple of days previously. It turns out, she passed very much like my mother did. She had what seemed like a garden variety cold, went to bed and never woke up.

I’m not sure I’m adequate to the task, but I will do my best to carry on her legacy of spreading love and fighting evil.

Rest in power, my tiny and fierce aunt.


On Yesterday’s Walk: Merry Christmas

Christmas Eve at our house was peaceful and good, with just the three members of the household. The husband had to work part of the day but got off early. The grown son who lives here works from home and sets his hours, so he often takes his dinner up to his room and eats at the keyboard while creating code. But yesterday, he not only joined us for the whole meal, he wore his good jeans (no holes) and a nice sweater. We’re pretty casual and have never enforced a holiday dinner dress code, but I appreciated the effort.

Our family tradition is to have all the hoopla, including gift opening, on Christmas Eve, followed by a relaxed Christmas Day. I had four packages under the tree, and they were a perfect encapsulation of love to me. One I had requested specifically, the new Patti Smith memoir, Bread of Angels.

Book cover: Bread of Angels, Patti Smith, a memoir.

Aside from that, the guys got me a daily desk calendar with quotes from well-known women, a non-skid bathmat for the tub (after I nearly fell a couple weeks ago and made some drama about being on the verge of my first bad “old person” experience) and a reflective vest to wear for those occasions I find myself walking after dark (pretty much every weekday in midwinter, as the sun is already down by the time I stroll home from work.)

My loved ones care about my safety and they care about my inspiration and fulfillment. I received gifts that center the wellbeing of both body and soul. How about that spirit of Christmas, there? Pretty well captured, I’d say.

I got a chance to use my reflective vest already. We’re experiencing near record warm temperatures here, so the three of us took an evening stroll around the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights and decorations. We didn’t even need coats!

This was my favorite house:

Nighttime scene. House outlined with colored Christmas lights. A large skeleton wearing Santa clothes and beard stands next to a skeleton reindeer in the front yard.

The little bit at the bottom is a reflection on a car hood. I didn’t crop it out because I like the effect.


Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! And a wish for joy and peace to all, whether you celebrate Christmas, something else, or it’s just Thursday to you!

I’ll end with one of my favorite songs of the season with some of my favorite performers–John Denver and the Muppets. I listen to The Peace Carol several times every December.

On Today’s Walk: Love and the Quotes You Read Along the Way


Strolling about the neighborhood today, I ran across the above sign in someone’s yard, a quote from one of my favorite authors, Ursula K. Le Guin:

“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.”

This is from her novel, The Lathe of Heaven. I know I read it many years ago, but I forget a lot a the details. What I remember is that the main character is a man whose sleeping dreams change reality. But nobody else seems to notice.

This quote, though. It’s so true about the nature of love. It requires intention. There are other sayings along the same line that I’ve found to be true as I go through life. Here’s one: love is a verb. Don’t recall where I read that, but yes. It’s not a vague warm glow, it’s got to be active to have any positive effect.

Here’s another: Love is a choice. You choose how to treat someone. There might or might not be a pleasant emotional feeling while doing so. But the more you make that choice, the more likely you are to develop a pleasant feeling about it. At least, that’s my experience.

Actively choosing to find ways to reach out to our neighbors while we’re all separated is love manifested.