Mothers have been in the news recently, putting themselves on the line to protect others. I wrote this poem many years ago, and it still feels relevant.
Epiphanies while Holding Babies
1. I once heard mothers declare without a second thought they would give their lives to save their children. Romantic hyperbole it seemed, until, stroking my infant’s hair I recognized what passes as small talk among mothers: “They grow up so quickly.” “Look at all those teeth.” “I’d give my life to save my child.” Chit-chat about the obvious.
2. Cradled in a rocking chair, newborn son in my arms, radio reporting a war, I have a thought new to me, old to mothers of sons. All of the young men killing and dying are every one of them someone’s baby boy. Achieving world peace is not a dreamy ideal, but immediate necessity – as much a part of my to-do list as washing the diapers and paying the bills.
My firstborn came to visit recently, staying for eight days. Due to the fact that I rarely call out from work, I had abundant PTO in my leave bank and was able to take off the entire time for a staycation. The spouse was also able to use vacation most of the days. And son the younger works from home, so was able to flex his hours.
We did a lot of nostalgic activities and generally had a blast playing tourist in our own area. This included a day trip to Onondaga Cave, a place I haven’t visited in at least 15 years, though I did write a poem about it once. It had been long enough that the tour was fresh and new to me, for the most part. And even the bits I remembered were still awe inspiring, well worth a revisit.
walking paths/handrailsstairs
Onondaga cave is immense. Though there are a couple of places where adults need to duck a little, there’s no crawling, climbing or ropes involved in the exploration. Trails and handrails have been put in, and there’s an option to sit out the steepest part of the tour. Still, you need to be able to do some hills and stairs and to be on your feet for quite a while. If you’re able to do that, it’s a fascinating place to visit.
Since it’s operated by the Missouri Department of Conservation (incidentally, one of the top state conservation departments in the country), it’s well maintained with an eye to preserving a healthy ecosystem. That means there are no tours during bat hibernation season. A piece of good news we learned from our guide is that bat populations are starting to rebound after being nearly decimated by white-nose syndrome.
Some of my favorite spots on the tour:
The Twins (cave pillars)Fancy curtain!More fancy curtains!
Saving my very favorite for last — the Lily Pad Room, where mineral deposits sitting in a pool of water take the shape of lily pads. It’s breathtaking.
This race is indeed not to the swift and is not a race. Today we like speed. The whole world in an instant with a keystroke. Third-graders: do 100 addition problems in five minutes. Speed proves competence. Service so quick you’ll quake, or something like that. Nobody should wait. The gravest sin is to slow others down. That’s above ground.
Enter this cave and the standards invert. Muse upon the mighty stalagmites. Take in the tightly clinging stalactites. Marvel at the pace of growth, an inch per hundred years. One. Inch. Per. One. Hundred. Years. That’s where the awe comes in. If they formed at a fast clip, we’d chop them out, carry them off, stack them in our garages, intending to use them in a craft someday. There would be no sense of wonder. The slowness makes it so. Speed wins the day, persistence the millennia.
I look at some of my younger acquaintances who are starting families, and my heart breaks a little. I can’t imagine starting out my parenting journey in the world as it is now. The difficulties they will face, the battles they will have to fight.
I don’t say this to them, however. Maybe because I remember oldsters saying it when I was having my children, back in the mid to late 90s. And I heard it again when the internet came along and we had to be the first generations of parents ever to figure out how that fit into child raising.
We don’t get to choose the times in which we live. We only get to choose how we respond. I know plenty of Millennials and Gen Z who are foregoing parenthood, some due to the political and/or actual climate. I respect that. But I also respect and support my younger crew who are choosing to hope enough to go ahead and have the baby they want. I mean, is it ever really the opportune moment to bring a child into this messed up world?
Look at Mary. I’m sure there were people who saw a hugely pregnant teenager, not even able to secure lodging, and shook their heads. And with Herod in power? Didn’t she know how likely it was they would become refugees in pretty short order? Who would she expect to accept and take them in? What a time for anyone to have a baby.
Anyway, here’s a poem I wrote that I’m pretty sure I’ve shared before. It seems pretty relevant right now. (It’s an abecedarian poem, by the way.)
All the Troubles and Yet
All the troubles everywhere, yet a Baby brings joy, each new Child in my circle a welcome Discovery that the world goes on Each one accepted as the Finest example of what the universe offers Greeted with adoration and wonder Heralded with hope Imagine receiving that level of tenderness Just for being, freely given Love with no expectations Meaning found simply in connection No earning it or losing it Only a thereness Produced because it’s how we survive Quarrels most certainly will arrive Right along with disappointments Suffering and sickness There’ll be time to think on those Upsets later, rather than wasting the Velvet days of infancy with our minds X number of years in the future Youth speeds away but comes Zipping back to humanity again and again
Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! May we be able to keep our focus on love and support for those in need, and may we celebrate the most vulnerable among us.
I celebrate Independence Day complete with watching fireworks. Despite the major flaws of many of the country’s founders in overlooking the equality of certain races and genders, I believe in the core idea of people forming the government and everyone having a say. But I’m troubled by what passes for patriotism in some circles these days as well as the backward movement on human rights. Anyway, here’s a poem I wrote and a playlist I curated for the day.
Allegiance
The city filled with flags proclaims its puffed up patriotism the billowed colors clamoring for adoration, for awe.
The crest of a cardinal catches my eye instead, my loyalty pledged to saving it, to a future of scarlet feathers brightening trees.
A constellation of white wood anemones on the creek’s bank garners my allegiance, my hope for beauty in the years to come.
The first blueberries of the year bring with them a taste of wonder and a wish for a republic filled with enough fruit for all.
Tomatoes, roses, rainbow stripe, great whales, clean snow, and polar bears, blue morpho butterflies, clear skies – all things for which I take a stand.
** And my playlist, in large part celebrating those who have been historically excluded.
It’s the penultimate day of the City of Refuge Poem-a-Thon. I had to send the bucket deep into the well to come up with anything today.
This Like That, That Like This
It’s funny how when I hear tires whooshing along roadways in the distance it can sound like ocean waves rolling in and out, the rhythmic pulsing of air at steady intervals. Maybe it’s my mind grasping for the ancient familiar to make sense of the now or the impulse to create categories – this like that, that like this, a mirage of mastery over what is uncontrollable. Or. It’s possible. A connection is present in a real way the great mechanism of our running universe providing the beat for all we create and experience.
Getting my poem up late tonight. Entry 27 for the City of Refuge Poem-a-Thon is inspired by a memory of a camping trip with my husband.
You, on the Riverbank
On my early morning walk I sought solitude on the path to the river believing I wanted to be alone. All went as desired until I turned at the last bend and there you were ahead of me, already taking in the newly wakened sunbeams tapping sparks on the water. You didn’t hear me stop behind, gazing at you gazing toward the far bank through the center of a jagged wreath of willow leaves perfectly shaped for the view, the light glowing around your silhouette focusing you at the center of the scene, all the world I could see a frame for you.
Day 24/30 in the City of Refuge Poem-a-Thon. This feels pretty unfinished, but I’m calling it okay for tonight.
Bridge
A wooden foot bridge spans the creek that divides the park near my house I raised my kids on this bridge or so it seems when I stand on it now recalling the span of their years at the site of our former daily adventures when adventures were daily This bridge was a place to loiter and plan to learn about ripples and gravity as twigs and rocks dropped to the current It was our place to wait and watch the fish and crawdads and neighbors and birds. Once on a cold day even a great blue heron, a solitary event the span of its wings startling in enormity We always brought home stories A bridge is not primarily for lingering of course and the crossing seemed an ever satisfying feat in a young life a solid accomplishment I was there on the other side and now I’m here in a new place with a clear line between the two.
You were devalued when first we met at the hardware store, lonely the one remaining woodland phlox rejected by all who came before. Only I was willing to take the chance on your struggling, half-withered self being in pretty much the same condition. “It won’t last” – I could see that message in the eyes of the cashier who united us. I wasn’t a great bet either have not logged a high success rate with green growing things. Yet I gave it my best and so did you. Look at us now, you with your amethyst petals bursting with pride and me, not doing too bad my own self.
Nomadic Noesis 